A packed train and a nation’s character

If you think the Japanese are kind people then think again.

We – my wife, children and I – hopped onto a packed train yesterday. And no one offered their seats to us. In Australia able people, young and old, would give up their seats for the elderly, disabled or people with young children. But not in Japan. Three young university students were sitting in front where stood. None of them even acknowledged our presence. They avoid looking at you in case they feel a twinge of guilt and have to get up and offer their seats.

Perhaps these words are too harsh. The offering of seats to those who need it more is simply not something done in Japan. Partly, if you give up your seat to someone that person owes you a debt of gratitude, and you should not put someone in that situation. Strange as that may seem there is a kind of logic to it that you cannot argue with.

Or can you?

More often than not the person to whom you offer your seat will refuse, not wanting to be indebted to a stranger. So in that sense the offering up of your seat is futile.

But I will argue still that it is important to make this effort because kindness to people you do not know is an important trait. In general, the Japanese are kind to two groups of people – to people they know, and to people who are obviously clueless foreigners.

To the first group it can be in an open form of kindness or one of the two set gift giving periods, the oseibo (end of the year) or ochugen (middle of the year). And to the second group this kindness is extended to them until they become clued in (for example, the new exchange student who is in Japan for the first time).

The custom is one that helps keep the social peace or wa in Japan. It is one that has worked for a long time. But in a changing world where, for the better or worse, more foreigners are coming to visit or stay in Japan this custom may not be so effective. So a change in attitude and thinking may be in order.

Japan is in a transition period. There are growing pains. Murder and suicide rates are up. Social order is disintegrating. Young people do not know what to do with their lives. Change is faster than before. So how the society will adjust remains to be seen.

But nonetheless I hope at least the Japanese will learn to offer up their seats, in an act of true kindness, to someone they do not know, and expect nothing in return for it.